Thankfulness Meet Woman

My journal entry from last night was the following (exactly...)---

"My life was turned upside down. And now I see that. Now, I am so thankful. Regardless of the hurt and pain, I have become that which I always knew that I could become, but never dared to try. I feel alive and free and happy. I am proud of myself, starting to rely on God, and starting to figure out who I am. Being around only the people that you really truly care about causes you to be yourself. You don't have to be some mindless bimbo who fits into everyones conception of reality. Whereas, being slightly isolated give your mind time to reflect and just relax. I sit here, a woman deathly afraid of relationships and people causing pain, but then I think on the stupidity. God give us pain to test us. How dare we slap Him across the face by feeling pity for ourselves? He gives us a gift of allowing us to grow and we react with shock and sadness. I am thankful to all the people who have hurt me, because they have helped me realize that you cannot truly be happy with life and yourself until you find happiness in God. People change...yes, even me. Your worst nightmares come true. You hurt people on accident. And yet, somehow, a light shines through it all. For some reason you see (or at least I have) that you need to keep on loving and sharing and caring. Because, while hurt helps us grow, love enforces that growth and allows us to keep going when we feel like giving up. God is there. God is real. That is where true beauty comes from. Because, if God weren't real, how could people, like you and I, who have sinned, hurt others, and been so brutally hurt so many times, wake up in the morning with a smile? How could we have that great day, when we've almost lost hope? If it is not enough that the sun shines or that the world around us is so beautiful, isn't it enough that we live and can have moments where we are simply overcome in a fit of laughter? True joy like that doesn't come from the lies and deception of the world around us, but rather from the loving Father who created us."

posted by me @ 7:05 AM